ON THE LOT:

Series Overview

Many families have a Bible somewhere in the house. As the #1 Bestseller year after year, the Bible has the special distinction of being one of the most commonly owned books. Many people feel like they should have one around, but the question many of us wonder is, “What do we do with it?” Reading it can seem like a daunting task sometimes. We might feel like it is the spiritual homework we never understand or never get around to. Over the next few weeks, we will be talking with your student about one way to approach Scripture that will bring freedom and life change. A way that will bring the words they read to life.

Session One (Jan. 15)

Have you ever tried to read the Bible? What are some of the obstacles you faced? Maybe the language was too difficult, or the passages were too long or you just simply couldn’t find the time. This week we will be looking at those very real obstacles and working out a new way of reading the Bible. A way that will break down Scripture into manageable pieces in a way that will let God’s Word act as a light for our path, illuminating each day.

Session One Parent Cue:

Do you read the Bible on a regular basis? If not, what keeps you from doing it? If you do read it on a regular basis, are there ever times when it’s harder than others? What do you do when that happens?

Hello Student Ministry Parents,
Here's some information that will help you have a discussion with your child about what he or she learned this week in Outloud Students. As always we welcome your comments and questions.

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

Stories are powerful. They can change our point of view, convince us of the importance of a message and inspire us to change our lives, simply by sharing a piece of someone’s journey. When Jesus told stories, there was always a point that needed to be heard. And, often, the point wasn’t something that would naturally be the most well-received and welcomed. But Jesus kept on telling them, because He had an important message to relay. And that was the message of the kingdom of God. Jesus knows that the things in our life can sometimes take the place of the most important thing—our invitation to participate in the great story of God’s kingdom.

2. Be a Student of Your Student

We are busy. It seems to be a growing cultural phenomenon. The word “stress” is often on the lips of our friends, co-workers and neighbors. And for those of us who are the parents of teenagers, it’s also a word we often hear from our own kids. Students, especially junior high and high school students, are overbooked, overworked and overdrawn on their energy reserves.

As Chap Clark writes in Hurt 2.0:

Certainly they are tired, and many are angry. Both of these, however, are but symptoms of a deeper threat to their well-being and ultimately to their ability to progress through midadolescence. (Midadolescence is the in-between stage that young people go through where they are no longer children but are not quite ready to launch into adulthood. The age range of midadolescence can be between 14 to 20 years of age. Midadolescents are characterized by egocentric abstraction, which is the idea that they filter most of life through the lens of how what they experience, see and do effects them, first and foremost) At the core, they long for the safety and freedom of childhood and have no clear vision concerning what adulthood will be like. As a result of the abandonment they have faced throughout their lives, most midadolescents carry inside them a powerful defense mechanism that keeps them running as fast and as hard as they can. They know no other way to cope with life. The quicker they move, the less vulnerable they are to ridicule, critique, or even examination. Midadolescents know they must put on a mask of confidence, even arrogance, or they will be chewed up by those who would find them out. May we, the adults who love and care for them, not be fooled. They are busy, yes, and stressed, but they want someone to demonstrate in word and action, ‘You matter to me’ (140).

So what does that mean for those of us who are invested in the lives of teens? Does it mean we clear their schedules and make every night mandatory family night? You could try it, but it probably won’t go over well. What it might mean though is that we help our students weed through what is important and what is just mental and physical chatter in their lives. Help them navigate the world of schedules, agendas and itineraries now to set them up for being successful boundary-setters later.

3. Action Point

We all have deadlines, activities, to-do lists and responsibilities vying for our attention and pressing in on us from all sides. Whether it’s the deadline for the project our boss gave us last minute or the deadline of an AP History test that keeps creeping closer and closer, deadlines loom over our ever-busy lives and we feel the weight of their presence. So, what are the things competing for your attention right now?

Take some time to talk with your child about your own deadlines and to ask them about theirs. Help them understand the process of how you prioritize your time so that they can begin to understand the need to prioritize theirs as well. And this doesn’t just mean fitting their ever-bulging schedule into a well-planned out and over-burdened week. This means helping your student (and yourself) evaluate what is most important and what may need to be scaled back. As you talk, help your student visualize the idea of prioritizing by writing out a calendar with them and blocking out sections of time for things like rest, play, family time, friend time, etc. And if as you talk, you realize that you may need to do some reprioritizing too, it might be a good chance for you to write out a new calendar of your own with some input from your teenager. Ask your student how they think you are doing with prioritizing your time. Where do they think you might need to cut back?

Series Overview: (Jan 8)

The kingdom of God is the most important thing and if we aren’t careful we might miss it.
Stories are powerful. They can change our point of view, convince us of the importance of a message and inspire us to change our lives, simply by sharing a piece of someone’s journey. When Jesus told stories, there was always a point that needed to be heard. And often, the point wasn’t something that would naturally be the most well-received and welcomed. But Jesus kept on telling them, because He had an important message to relay. And that was the message of the kingdom of God. Jesus knows that the things in our life can sometimes take the place of the most important thing—our invitation to participate in the great story of God’s kingdom.

Session Two: Resolution (November 27)

A verbal shot is fired and our gut tells us to fire back. That word, that attitude from someone else hurt us or made us mad, so we want to give some of that back. Been there? How often do we quickly react to something a sibling or parent does or says in a way that raises the level of tension and anger instead of diffusing it? But there is another option! We can choose to stop the madness and think through our words and actions. We can begin to see more clearly that when something provokes us, we have a choice to make before we respond. We can be part of the resolution instead of part of the problem.

Session Two Parent Cue: Take a recent argument or “loud discussion” you had. Write down what prompted the conversation, then write down each of your responses. Now backtrack and each of you identify the decisions you made that prompted your responses. Maybe you reacted to how something was said, or one word set you off. Maybe you responded out of fear of what could happen.

Picture Perfect:

Series Overview

You’ve seen their shiny, happy faces staring at you from picture frames, magazine ads and commercials. They are the perfect family. Every tooth sparkles. Every face beams with joy. And they seem to have everything you don’t. But the reality is, well they aren’t real. In fact it’s an illusion. There’s no such thing as a picture perfect family. Families are made up of imperfect people—people like you and me. So how do we live and interact with the family God has placed us in? How do we find a way to be a part of it, instead of just surviving and living for the day when we move on? Because no family is perfect. And no person is either.

Session One: Snapshot (November 6)
Does it ever feel like there are families who are more “perfect” than yours? They dress better. Have a nicer house. Never seem to have a disagreement of any kind. But when we see these families, we’re not seeing the full picture; we’re simply seeing a snapshot. If we actually lived in that family and dealt with each person on a daily basis, we would probably realize that the perfect family is, well, a myth. The truth is that no family is perfect. We are all just human, and when we realize that we can live in the messiness of our families and learn to find the good, we begin to understand the purpose God has in placing us in our particular family.

Session One Parent Cue: Have you ever thought a family was “perfect,” only to find out how “normal” they were as you got to know them? Did you ever wish you were part of a different family growing up? Why?

Series Overview

We all want forgiveness, but we’re not always eager to give it out, are we? And for some of us, there are some very big hurts that have a grip on our lives. Things that were done, or not done, that wounded us. Even the very memory of those things brings up the emotions as fresh as they were when they were new. So how do you move on? How do you get past the hurt and pain? And how do you push past something you know you should do to the point where you can finally release it?

Session One: First Things First

It feels good to receive forgiveness, doesn’t it? When we’ve messed up, when we’ve hurt someone, we want to know that what we’ve done wrong can be overlooked and gotten over. But when we’ve been hurt, when we’ve been wounded, when we’re the one left a little worse for the wear, it’s not quite as easy to extend forgiveness, is it? Still, as difficult as it is to do, there’s a value in pursuing forgiveness. There’s a value in being committed to the process—no matter how long it takes. And it goes beyond something we “should” do to something we have to do for the sake of ourselves—and for our future.
Session One Parent Cue: Where is forgiveness an issue in my life? How does it affect my life?

Session Two: Letting Go

Chances are when we began talking about forgiveness, someone very specific came to mind—someone who did something to hurt you and who you haven’t quite figured out how to pardon. Who is that person that wounded you or disappointed you? When you think of your hurt do you see only the person who offended you? If you’re like most, it’s hard to separate the wrong done to you from the person who hurt you. But what if you began to see him or her as a human being? What if you learned how to name the origin of the hurt? It may help you move forward. It may even begin to help you release the pain.
Session Two Parent Cue: What hurts the most about the forgiveness issue in my life?

Session Three: Moving On

Putting forgiveness into process is daunting. It forces us to deal with some really yucky stuff—stuff that oftentimes feels better left alone. But whether it’s the offense itself, our response, our perspective or learning to relate to someone we would rather avoid, the practice of forgiveness is one we need to learn to involve ourselves in. So what does that actually look like? Is it a conversation? Is it an action? There’s not really a formula for this. And while our actions and words are important, it is our commitment to the process that is crucial and will get us to the place we need to be.
Session Three Parent Cue: What is a next step I need to take to move towards forgiveness?

Series Overview

Everyone has moments of doubt. We doubt if we are heading in the right direction when going some place new. We doubt if that low-fat snack is really as healthy as it claims to be. We doubt if the people in our lives really care about us—even in spite of the evidence that they do. And sometimes our doubts are about God. Can we trust God? Does God really have our best in mind? What does a particular Bible verse actually mean?

When questions arise, they can be a little unsettling, especially questions about faith. But what if God was big enough to handle the questions? He is. What if God was secure enough to handle our uncertainty? He is. And what if doubt actually paved the way to a deeper belief, a stronger relationship with Christ? It can.

Session One (April 3)

You know those nagging questions that seem to linger in the back of your mind? The ones you hesitate to ever speak out loud, admit you have or let anyone else know you think? Questions like: “Does God hear me when I pray?” “Does He have a plan for my life?” “Does God really have everything under control?” Questions and doubts can be unsettling if they are left unsaid. We begin to think we are alone in our doubt, and often our doubts only grow until they paralyze our faith. But when we learn to admit our doubts openly, we learn that we are not the only ones—that everyone deals with questions. And when we learn to live with doubt, doubt can be a tool that strengthens our faith.

Session One Parent Cue: Do you ever have doubts about God? If so, what are they? What do you do with them—vocalize them or keep them to yourself?

Session Two (April 10)

It’s one thing to recognize that doubt can strengthen faith—but HOW do you get there? How do you handle a doubt that you just can’t seem to move past? One way is to look back. When you look back, you draw on the things you do know to help you live through the things you don’t know or can’t understand. When you remember the things that God has shown you, you remind yourself of a bigger picture that can help you deal with the close-up situation at hand. The ways you have learned about or experienced God in your past are still true in the present, and can be used to pave the way to belief now—in spite of and in the midst of doubt.

Session Two Parent Cue: What are some things that God has taught you in the past about Himself? How can those things specifically help you with the doubts you now have?

Milo’s short life reminds me of a Bible verse that says:

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”
(Ecclesiastes 12:1 NLT)

I think one thing we can all learn from Milo is that life is short. In fact, when compared to eternity, our years on earth are much shorter than Milo’s one-night stay in my home. Every day the window of opportunity closes a bit more…the opportunity to use our lives to honor God and demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ to a broken world. Today, as you get excited about all the things you’re going to do this weekend, think about Milo. Remember that life is short, so make each day count. Remember your Creator and honor him in your youth.

Series Overview

Do your students ever wish they could just grow up? Maybe they yearn for the day they will get their driver’s licenses. Or graduate from high school. Or go away to college. They don’t really want to be kids anymore. They want to be seen as adults. They want to feel like they’ve moved on, grown up. We all know how that happens physically, but what about spiritually? How do we know we’re growing in your faith? How do we know that you’re moving forward in that area of our lives? The good news is that God is just as passionate about growing our faith as we are. And there are five ways He will use to do that—some involving things that we probably already know, and other ways that we may have never thought about before.

Session One: Big Faith (Jan 16)

Your faith in God matters to God. In fact, God is most honored through your living, active, death-defying, out-of-the-box faith. That being the case, He’s committed to growing it. Big. Imagine how differently you would respond to difficulties, temptations, and even good things if you knew with certainty that God was in all of it and was planning to leverage it for good. But in order for all of that to happen, there’s one thing it all hinges on—your trust.
Session One Parent Cue: What area of your life are you most reluctant to trust God? Why?

Session Two: Big Life (Jan 23)

You can know a lot. Maybe you know the stats of every football player in the NFL. Maybe you know the cheat codes to hundreds of games. Maybe you know every Scripture in the New Testament. But unless you do something with what you know, then what you know isn’t enough. Especially when it comes to our faith. God’s truth was meant to be put into action. It was meant to affect our lives, our relationships. And when we begin to live out the truths we know, something happens to us our faith. It begins to grow.
Session Two Parent Cue: What is one truth that you know from the Bible that you can commit to live out this week? Follow up with each other to see how that’s going.

WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT:

Here is an overview of what we’re talking about. Listed below the summary is a “parent cue” to help you dialog with your child about the session. The question is intended not just to be asked by you, but to be responded to by BOTH of you. Use this opportunity to find out what God is teaching your child, and allow your child to see what God is teaching you as well.

Series Overview

Every one of us has experienced it at some point. At one time, we were really into a relationship—whether that’s a friendship or a dating relationship—and now, well, not so much. We’re just not that into it anymore. So we walk away or we let the relationship die. But what happens when that relationship you’re not that into anymore is the one you have with God? You were really into Him at one point. You were feeling connected, directed, close. Now it feels like nothing. How do you deal with it?

Session One: The Breakup? (October 10th)

There is a natural ebb and flow to our relationships, isn’t there? There are times when we feel really close to someone, and times when we don’t. The reasons vary, but there are times when we’re just not feeling that into a relationship. It’s true of our friendships and other relationships, but what happens when it happens in our relationship with God? And when it does, why is it so difficult to admit it?
Session One Parent Cue: Describe a time when you felt really close to God. Now, describe a time when you felt really distant from Him.

Session Two: Fight for Me (October 17th)

When you’re not that into a relationship, you have a choice—to stay or to go. God has made it very clear in the Bible that He’s not going anywhere. He’s in. But we’re the ones who struggle with the choice, and that struggle sometimes involves fighting our own feelings and perceptions. It’s a fight that we have to be willing to take on, and a decision each of us has to make. And while it may feel like it, it’s not one-sided, God isn’t going anywhere. So are you going to fight your own tendencies to pull away? Are you going to fight for your relationship with God?
Session Two Parent Cue: Have you ever been tempted to walk away from God? What made you come back to Him . . . or walk away?

Session Three: Do You Know Me? (TBA)

So you decided to fight, to stay in your relationship with God even though you’re feeling not that into Him. And for some of you, you’ve already seen a big change. There’s a new connection. There’s excitement. But for others, you’re fighting and nothing’s happening. You’re working, but you’re not getting anything in return. So what’s the problem? It may be that “me” is getting in the way, that your focus is on you. And in the process, you have made God very small, boring and predictable—a God you think you know, but One who is actually so much bigger than us.
Session Three Parent Cue: What are some things you’ve learned about God in your relationship with Him? Search online for “names of God” and go through the list and identify specific ways you’ve “experienced” those names. For example, one of the names of God means “provider.” How have you seen God provide in your life?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Doesn’t it seem like there should be more to prayer than just our typical “Help me, bless me, protect me, give to me” prayers? Prayer has to be more than just talking to God—because He knows our thoughts, right? It has to be more than just us making our requests known to God—because doesn’t He already know everything that’s going on in our lives? It’s like there’s some secret, some mystery we hope to unlock so we can “get through” to God. If we could just say the right words, maybe we can break the code and get a “yes” to all our requests. But what if prayer was something much bigger than that? What if prayer went beyond us getting what we wanted, and became about how to grow closer to God’s heart instead? What if prayer wasn’t just about changing our present situation, what if it was about changing us?

Week One (April 11)

Have you ever noticed how relationships seem to drift apart when we don’t get to spend time together? There’s just something significant that happens when we intentionally carve out time to connect with a friend or a family member. We get to hear what’s on their minds and hearts. We get to see the person beyond just what he or she can do for us, and see who he or she really is. That’s the heart of prayer—it’s our chance to connect with God in a way that goes beyond “Help me, bless me, protect, give to me.”

Week Two (TBA)

If we spend time with God intentionally, if we make time for Him, then what do we say to Him when we get alone with Him? What are the things we talk about? After all, He knows everything about us, our lives and our world. It’s not like we have any “news.” It’s not like we have to give Him an update on how things are going. So what do we talk about? In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus focuses on three things, and leads us through a process that will not only change our perspective about what is going on around us, but also our perception of God.

Week Three (TBA)

We can’t talk about prayer without addressing the obvious question—what happens when God doesn’t answer? Jesus has a surprising response to that—you keep asking. Because if something is that important to you, if something has captured your heart that strongly, then it’s something that you can’t let go. It’s something you can’t simply walk away from. So keep asking. And Jesus says that maybe, just maybe, God will honor your persistence.

LOVESICK:

There’s something pretty amazing about being in love, isn’t there? The butterflies in your stomach. The dreamy gazes. No wonder so many of us are so in love with being in love. But if you look around—in the media, at school, in life—we’ve taken what God created and twisted it, morphed it and configured it into something it was never meant to be—an obsession. When romantic relationships become an obsession, balance goes out the window. We miss out on opportunities and experiences we might otherwise have had. And sometimes we even forget who we are. There’s got to be healthier way to do this. There’s got to be another way than being so lovesick.

Week One (Feb 21)

There is nothing quite like the experience of falling in love. Nothing. In fact, some people are willing to do just about anything for the feeling of being in love, for the knowledge that someone values them, finds them significant and worthwhile. Some people are even willing to give up who they are as an individual, give up their identity, just for the sake of a relationship. This week we are going to talk to students about the both the fun and wonderful parts of dating and also the danger of sacrificing who they are and who they are designed to be for the sake of romance.

Semana Uno

No hay nada como la experiencia de enamorarse; Nada. De hecho, algunas personas están dispuestas a hacer cualquier cosa por sentir la sensación de estar enamorado, por el saber que alguien les valora, que les encuentran de valor y que significan algo para alguien.    Algunas personas incluso, están dispuestas a renunciar a su propia identidad, por el simple hecho de una relación.    Esta semana hablaremos a los estudiantes acerca tanto lo divertido como la parte maravillosa de las citas y también del peligro de sacrificar quienes ellos son y quien ellos están designados a ser; por el romance.

Week Two (Feb 28)

 “Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket!” We’ve all heard the phrase before, some of us have probably even used it a time or two, but when it comes to dating, it can be pretty hard to actually put into practice. We live in a culture where marketing, events and entertainment are driven by romantic relationships, where people are profiled based on relationship status, and where love and romance are a part of our daily conversations. For many students it just seems normal, almost expected to devote all of their time, energy and affection to acquiring or maintaining a dating relationship. This week we’re going to talk to students about finding balance as they learn to fit dating into the many other, equally important, areas of life.

Semana Dos

“No poner todos los huevos en una canasta!!!”   Todos hemos escuchado antes la anterior frase, algunos de nosotros probablemente hasta la hemos usado una o dos veces, pero cuando se trata del noviazgo, pudiera ser un poquito duro ponerlo en práctica.     Vivimos en una cultura donde el mercadeo, eventos y entretenimiento son manejados por las relaciones románticas, donde la gente se perfila basada en el estado de su relación y donde el amor y el romance, son parte de nuestras conversaciones diarias.    Para muchos estudiantes simplemente parece normal, casi esperando dedicar todo su tiempo, energía y afecto para adquirir y mantener una relación de noviazgo.    Esta semana hablaremos a los estudiantes acerca de encontrar el balance mientras ellos aprenden a encajar sus citas dentro de muchas otras áreas de su vida igualmente importantes.

Week Three (March 7)

High school reunions can be either something we eagerly look forward to, or anxiously dread. The reasons for our excitement or our hesitation are usually the same—the people. We’re concerned about who we will encounter from our past and the lasting impression they had on us—for better or for worse—and the lasting impression we had on them. And no relationship has the ability to leave an impression, for better or worse, than a dating relationship. Dating relationships just have a lot of potential to do great good, or harm in the mark they leave. So this week we are going to help students explore dating from the perspective of the one they date. We want to challenge students this week to think about their own responsibility, regardless of where they may have been in the past, to always consider what they can do in the future to make someone’s story better, and to treat them in a way that will be beneficial and positive in the long run.

Semana Tres

Las reuniones de la escuela secundaria pueden ser algo que esperamos con impaciencia o temor ansioso.   Las razones de nuestro entusiasmo o nuestra vacilación es usualmente el mismo-la gente.    Nos preocupamos por a quien nos vamos a encontrar de nuestro pasado y la ultima impresión que ellos dejaron en nosotros-para bien o para mal- y la ultima impresión que dejamos en ellos.   Ninguna otro tipo de relación tiene la habilidad de dejar una impresión buena o mala, como las relaciones de noviazgo.   Los noviazgos tienen el gran potencial de hacer mucho bien, o mal en la forma en que terminan.    Asi que esta semana ayudaremos a los estudiantes a explorar el noviazgo desde la perspectiva de la persona que ellos están conociendo.    Deseamos esta semana, desafiar a los estudiantes a reflexionar sobre su propia responsabilidad, independientemente de donde ellos pudieron estar en el pasado, a siempre considerar lo que ellos pueden hacer en el futuro y hacer la historia de alguien, mejor; y tratarle de forma que sea benéfica y positiva a largo plazo.